Devil May Care

By Sebastian Faulks
Penguin Books 2008

Cleaning out the closet. This is the first of my cleaning out the closet reviews. When you visit PTK, you don't see the bare bones underneath. You don't see all the half written posts, sitting as drafts waiting for me to finish. I counted them today, and I have fifty-eight reviews lying in pieces across the site. It's time to clean up a little. This review for Devil May Care was started in June last year, and has been waiting for me to finish it off ever since. Some of my comments are a little dated now as the book has almost been out for eighteen months, but still I thought it was still worth sharing.

Sebastian Faulks Bond continuation novel, Devil May Care was always going to be scrutinised quite thoroughly, especially as it was released with 'Writing As Ian Fleming' written on the cover. This met with quite a mixed reaction. Some believed it was a marketing tool to indicate that this story starts where Fleming left off in the sixties – which it does - ignoring all previous continuation authors. Others believed that to suggest the book was written as Fleming was the height of arrogance. And some said that it was purely a technical exercise for Faulks – attempting to write in Fleming's style; in fact making the novel a pastiche of sorts.

I wasn't sure if Devil May Care was going to get released down under. Many books get skipped over down here, and if they do get released in can be many months after the UK and US release dates. In fact though, it was released here in a large paperback version about a week after the rest of the world, but I wasn't to know that, and so I ordered a copy from the UK.

For some reason my copy was held up and I didn't receive it till a couple of weeks later (while waiting became very temped to double up and buy the Australian version, but common sense prevailed - unusual for me, I know!) But during that interim, a friend of mine had received both the novel and the unabridged audio book read by actor Jeremy Northam. While my friend was reading the book, he kindly lent me the audio book until my copy of the novel arrived.

Over the next few days we conversed about our respective progress through the book. His comments amounted to that Faulks was writing a pastiche. Now I didn't get it. What did he mean? Were we reading/listening to the same story? From Jeremy Northam's telling, I didn't feel like the story was a pastiche at all. I though it was a solid, well written Bond story (with a few clumsy 'sixties' references - but I guess you've got to sell time and place).

By chapter four, I received my copy of the book and abandoned the slower audio book for the real thing. On the written page the story changed. No longer did I have Northam's accents and theatrics to drag me into the story and along with the characters. I had to use my own 'theatre of the mind', and the situations within the novel began to revert to more familiar Bondian clichés. Don't get me wrong here – I love the Bond formula, and am most forgiving of it flaws. But as I continued to read I felt that Faulks was simply ticking the boxes as he went along. I was beginning to see more of a pastiche than a forceful thriller.

Anyway, here's a very brief overview of the plot. I will keep spoilers to a minimum so as not to ruin the enjoyment of this novel for those who are still to read it. The novel starts in Paris, and a French/Albanian drug trafficer is killer in a brutal fashion. Bond's old friend René Mathis of the Deuxieme Bureau is assigned the case. Meanwhile a burnt out James Bond is on leave after the events in The Man With The Golden Gun. His break starts in Jamaica where he gets the tennis bug. During his rest period he plays quite a bit of tennis with a Jamaican named Wayland. Bond's current flirtation with tennis is picked up later on in the book, where Bond plays a game with the villain of the piece.

After Jamaica, Bond heads to France and finally to Rome. Here he meets bored, affluent housewife Larissa Rossi. Bond is infatuated with the woman, but in an uncharacteristic mood he chooses not to bed her.

The next morning Bond receives a summons from M and returns to London (This is the old M - Sir Miles Merservy). Bond's mission is to investigate Dr. Julius Gorner who is a pharmaceutical manufacturer. M believes his interest in pharmaceuticals extends far beyond headache tablets and may be one of the worlds largest heroin manufacturers and distributors. Bond is to attempt to get close and find out as much as possible.

Bond heads to Paris and checks into his hotel room. Much to his surprise waiting in his hotel room is Larissa Rossi - or rather Scarlett Papava – that's her real name. It appears that when she was in Rome she was sizing him up for a job on the recommendation of Bond old pal, and ex-CIA operative Felix Leiter.

Scarlett's sister, Poppy, is being held by Gorner and she wants Bond to free her. How's that for a nice co-incidence! She wants Bond to investigate Gorner too, but she initiated contact with Bond before he had been assigned the mission.

But Scarlett proves useful and arranges for Bond to meet Gorner, socially of course, at a tennis club, where they play a not so friendly match. You see, Gorner doesn't like to lose. So much so that he cheats by having the height of the centre court net raised and lowered slightly, depending on who is serving. Despite Gorner's dishonorable tactics, Bond still manages to win the match, much to the Gorner's chagrin. 'Chagrin' also happens to be Gorner's oriental manservant – the man who secretly raised and lowered the net during the match.

After France, Bond traces Gorner's activities to Tehran, and here he meets MI6's 'Man in Persia', Darius Alizadeh. Now I may be wrong here, but it would appear that Mr. Faulks is a fan of Nick Cave, or at least the song The Wild Rose (which Cave sung with Kylie Minongue). In the song a girl named Eliza Day, is known as The Wild Rose. The flower motif is used extensively throughout the story. Gorner even explains to Bond, that the poppy's correct name is Papaver sominferum. It's only a small step from Pava to Papaver -- therefore in the story we have female character called Scarlett Papava (= Scarlet Poppy) and Poppy Papava (= Poppy Poppy).

I must admit, I enjoyed the second half of story quite a bit, and in the end I would say that this is a passable effort. As mentioned above, I enjoy Northam's telling of the story more than reading the book. Northam acts as a buffer between me and the written word, taking the emphasis off the clichéd passages. What I mean here is the 'Bondian' clichés rather than lazy, unoriginal writing type of clichés. For example, if you were to ask me to write a Bond style parody, I would include the 'sea island cotton shirts', 'comma of dark hair' and possibly 'a thin cruel mouth'. And while I appreciate that these are elements that Fleming used in describing Bond at some point in his novels, they have now been milked so mercilessly by every Bond parody, that including them in a Bond novel -- even an official one -- is courting danger. It unconsciously turns the book into parody. But I must say in all fairness to Faulks, he tried not to walk into those traps.

As a comparison it is interesting to note that Faulks doesn't really attempt to describe Bond until page 144 (in the Penguin UK Harcover).

"Bond checked himself in the bathroom mirror. The comma of black hair, dampened by the shower, hung over his forehead. The scar on his cheek was less distinct than usual, thanks to the tanning effect of the Persian sun. His eyes were bloodshot from the salt water but retained, despite the spidery red traces, their cold, slightly cruel sense of purpose."

Whereas, John Gardner in License Renewed, released in 1981, described Bond's appearance on page 21 -- note here, that Bond didn't appear in the first chapter. From the Jonathan Cape UK Hardcover:

"She stared in space for a moment, her head filled with the after-image of the man who had just entered M's inner sanctum: the bronzed good-looking face, with rather dark eyebrows above the wide, level blue eyes; the three-inch scar which just showed down his right cheek; the long, very straight nose, and the fine, though cruel mouth. Minute flecks of grey had just started to show in the dark hair, which still retained its boyish black comma above the right eye."

And when Raymond Benson took over writing duties, in his first novel Zero Minus Ten, released in 1997, he chose to get the description out of the way as soon as possible, appearing on page 4 of teh Coronet UK paperback:

"His short black hair had just a hint of grey at the temples, was parted on the left, and carelessly brushed so that a thick comma fell down over his right eyebrow. There was a faint three-inch scar on his right cheek. The longish straight nose ran down to a short upper lip, below which was a wide and finely drawn but cruel mouth."

I guess it is hard work being a Bond novelist. And with each passing year it gets harder. Fans like myself can slowly pull apart every word they write and compare it to the master -- which is not really fair. The final washup is this. It's great to have Bond back in a literary form, and although the book isn't as good as I may have wished for, it certainly is entertaining. Sebastian Faulks was always walking a very thin tightrope. We Bond fans (like any pop-culture property with a huge fan base) are a tough audience to play to. We know the best. We know the worst. And we expect any person taking on the mantle to know it as well. At times, I wasn't sure if Faulks did. For example, even the villain's name 'Dr. Julius Gorner' - did Faulks realise that a previous Bond villain was Dr. Julius No. I am sure he had heard of Dr. No, but was he aware of the character's christian name? If so, it seems a bit contrived to have two Dr. Julius villains. Small quibbles, I know! But these little nagging things coloured by perception when reading.

But isn't great just to be able to hold a new Bond book?

Man From UNCLE: Bookcovers

Here are some bookcover scans from the Man From UNCLE series. These may be of interest to American readers as they differ from the ACE Books versions.

Black Butterfly

Author: Mark Gatiss
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Year: 2009

On a couple of occasions I have said it is far easier to write reviews of bad films, books or CDs, than it is to write about good works. But that doesn’t mean I want to write negative and mean-spirited reviews. I want to love every spy story that comes my way, and even if a project doesn’t quite reach the lofty heights that the creators intended, I’m always willing to meet it half way. As far as I am concerned, just give it your best shot – regardless of budget, time and talent. But sometimes I have to be negative. And my reasoning for this is when I feel that the creator’s hearts are not in the project. Unfortunately Black Butterfly seems to fall in that category. But before I go any further, because I haven’t written up reviews for The Vesuvius Club or The Devil in Amber, it is probably best that I say a few quick words about the two previous Lucifer Box stories.

Firstly, The Vesuvius Club (2004). I thought it was fantastic. It was a much-needed breath of fresh air in a genre that was getting a bit tired and over-run with techno-babble. Gatiss returned us to the days when spy stories were grand entertainment, and the adventures of the hero were all a bit of a lark. Sure, Gatiss caught me off guard with the bi-sexuality of the character Lucifer Box, and if you’ll pardon my French, the ‘…so I fucked him’ passage had me reeling like I had been punched in the face by a heavyweight boxer -- but at the same time, well why not? Like I said the book stirred up the stale old spy story, and for that I was extremely grateful.

Next came The Devil in Amber (2006). Now, I guess any shock value that Box could provide had now dissipated, and as such I didn’t think Amber was quite up to its predecessor’s standard, but still I found it a very enjoyable adventure. For those who are not familiar with the Box novels, let me explain that The Vesuvius Club was set in the late 1800s and Box was an Edwardian, rake about town, kind of spy. Amber moves the character along a bit and is set during the 1920s or 30s and appears to be modeled on a Dennis Wheatley novel.

Now comes the last in the series, Black Butterfly. It is set in the mid 1950s and it is the Bond book, if that makes sense. That is, Gatiss is parodying and placing Box in a Bond style universe. This, with my proclivity for all things Bond, this is the book I was really looking forward to. Now here’s the bit I didn’t want to have to say -- this book is a real disappointment. At first glance, the book looks great with it faux Richard Chopping inspired cover (for the hardback) or the playing card as the old - one of the many - Casino Royale cover (for the paperback edition). My first thoughts however were, gee the book is thin. And the words are big inside. This will barely take me a night to read (please note that I am a very slow reader – because I sit in front of a computer all day, my eyes are usually pretty shot when I get home).

But then I though, well Fleming’s novels were not great heavy slabs. They were fast paced and short – just grabbing the first Bond paperback within reach off the shelf next to me as I write - it’s an American Signet paperback of Moonraker (23rd Printing) – and it comes in at 175 pages (though the type is much smaller). So I thought Gatiss’ intention was to write a fast paced thriller in a short book format. Next, I read the first chapter, and to be perfectly honest it is a ball-tearer. It is written in third person, like the Bond stories and has a woman in peril and piranha fish. Great. At this stage I was pretty excited about the book I was holding in my hands. But then the story pulls back and we find out it was all a dream. I don’t know about you, but when I was in Year 7 at school, my English teacher warned the whole class, that if he came across a piece of writing that ended with ‘…and then I woke up’, he would fail the student immediately.

After the dream, the story starts proper in first person (like the previous books). Lucifer Box is old and about to retire, but first he has one last chore – and that is to investigate the strange death of his friend Christopher Miracle. The rest of the book seems rushed and sloppy. There are good passages, but I felt like I was reading an un-corrected proof. There was a paragraph doubled up and typos galore (although I realise that it is somewhat hypocritical of me to condemn a piece of work due to typos – but then again, I do not have an editor, or send out proofs of my work for correction before posting – I simply type in whatever frazzled verbiage pops into my head and hope my fingers can keep up). But Black Butterfly shows all the hallmarks of a piece of work that was rushed to meet a deadline, and I am afraid that isn’t good enough. I know publishing is an industry and publication and promotion take a lot of organization, and a deadline is a deadline – but where are the wiser heads, who sit down a read the manuscript / typescript and say yay or nay? Who is the person that says ‘sorry, this is not up to scratch, let’s delay the release’?

At the end of the day, putting out an incomplete or rushed book only hurts the author’s reputation. At one stage there was talk about further books in the Lucifer Box series, but now, I for one would be very wary of them. I would certainly read a few reviews before I laid my money down.

Look, don’t let my negative comments put you off reading the first two books in the series, but Box and Bond fans should be wary of Black Butterfly.

Roger Moore & the Crimefighters

Roger Moore and the Crimefighters was a six book children's series. But despite the prominence of Roger Moore on the cover, and in the title he isn't really a part of the stories until the end - where he plays himself (the actor).

The Crimefighters are a trio of kids (much like the Famous Five or the Secret Seven etc.) and they er, fight crime. At the end of each adventure they would visit Roger Moore and tell him the story of their adventure.

The books were published by Everest Books in the UK in 1977.

The six books are:
THE SIEGE by Malcolm Hulke
1001 SHOPLIFTERS by Robin Smyth
CROOK AHOY! by Fielden Hughes
DEATH IN DENIMS by Dulcie Gray
THE SECRETS MAN by Deben Holt
THE ANCHOR TRICK by Anthony Wall

I have been told that the last five are quite easy to come by, but THE SIEGE is quite difficult to track down. As you can see, I don't have a copy of it.

Roger Moore's royalties from the series were donated to the Stars Organisation for Spastics and to the Police Widows and Orphans Fund.

At the back of each book was a coupon that children could send off to become a 'crimefighter'. This got them a free membership card, a free newspaper, and a chance to meet Roger Moore.

Mondo Sadisto

Written by Clyde Allison
Real name: William Henley Knowles
Published: 1966 Leisure Books
Cover illustration by Robert Bonfils

WARNING: This review contains sexual and adult themes.

‘Once again, Hollywood, that Glamour Capital of the Free World, had come up with a smashing idea – A Secret Agent Semi-Documentary! And when they chose SADISTO as the subject for their MONDO-type flick, they were confident that they wouldn’t have to worry about any intense erotic atmosphere. From the little they could learn about SADISTO’s ultrasecret activities, they concluded that they organization merely killed, maimed, tortured and, whenever possible massacred the sinister enemies of the Free World.

Little did the California Dreamers realize what they were in for! How could they have known that the dread triple-zero agents were trained not only to kill, but to love – whenever possible!’

Mondo Sadisto twelfth title in Clyde Allison’s series of soft-core spy novels featuring Trevor Anderson, agent 0008 for a secret organisation called SADISTO. The name of the company alone should tell you about how they work – they use brutal and garish methods to liquidate the enemies of the Free World. It should also tell you that these novels are very black comedies. The series, because of its sexual content is often looked upon as porn, and there’s no denying that sexual themes are prevalent throughout the book. But by today’s standards it is all very tame. There are no swear words and the passages devoted to sex could more accurately be described as ‘smut’ rather than ‘erotica’.

‘She’s a big girl, with jutting, high, proud, ripely rounded breasts – twin cupolas of carnal temptation, paired peaks of passionate pleasure flesh…’ or ‘Her proud, pert young breast jutted upward and outward in quivering conical / spherical perfection – dual globes of glossy glee flesh.’

As I said, it is smut, but placed in the context of the wild spyjinx presented, it’s obvious that none of this is meant to be taken seriously.

In this 0008 adventure our hero, Trevor Anderson is to be the star in a Mondo-style documentary movie. It appears that SADISTO is cash strapped, and for ‘two million on the barrel-head plus twenty percent of the gross take’ they are prepared to allow an insider witness the ultra-secret world of SADISTO. The producer / director / cinematographer of this film is Cinamatia (Cin) Scopes, and she is to accompany 0008 on his next mission filming every second.

What is his mission? Glad you asked. Ultra evil organisation KRUNCH are holding the 'Free World' to ransom once again. This time they are threatening to destroy the waterways of North America. The mission briefing goes like this - page 73:

"What," the General had asked dramatically (during our initial briefing), "is the most dreaded thing of the water - fresh water, that is?"

I considered this. "A voluptuous teen-age thrill-seeking girl at the wheel of a high-powered outboard?" I suggested, remembering numerous occasions when such joyous jills had almost cut me in two with their propellers.

"You're right," the General had conceded. "Well, what's the second most dreaded thing in fresh water?"

"Why, the Piranha!" gasped Cin and I in unison.

"Keep out of this," I snarled. "This is my briefing."

"Sorry. I spoke up without thinking," apologized Cin.

"Silence!" thundered the General. "As I was saying and you were agreeing, the South American fresh-water fish - loosely named the Piranha - is a fish to be dreaded."

And later from page 76 and 77:

"It's more serious, I take it," I rasped.

"Exactly. With Piranhas as with any fish, it's only a question of acclimation. Piranhas flourish only in very warm fresh waters. But..."

"But?" I interjected.

"But fish can adjust. Automatically or after careful selective breeding. Take the common guppy for an example. A fresh-water fish. But how many guppy fanciers know that if they should toss their guppies into an aquarium full of salt water - the guppies would continue to flourish and multiply."

"I take it," I frowned, "that not all fish are as adaptable as guppies?"

"You take it correctly," said the General. "However, before this, nobody has made any attempt to acclimate Piranhas to cooler water. By slowly lowering the water temperature, selecting the fish that withstood the change best, cross-breeding them, repeating the process for generations - it might be done. And shudder, the indications are - it has been done! Yes, a cool, even cold-water Piranha is now a biological reality. You can imagine what this could mean."

So KRUNCH's evil plan is to release their cold water acclimated Piranhas into North American waterways during 'Safe Swimming Week'. Diabolical. The woman behind this horrible scene is Serra S. Brandt, and 0008, with a little help from Cin Scopes has to track her down and eliminate her - which is not going to be an easy task.

An intriguing aspect of the 0008 novels is the violence. There is a fair amount of gratuitous cartoon violence, and as stated, because these books are black comedies, this violence is ‘sadistic’ and gory. After all 0008 works for SADISTO – of course he’s ‘sadistic’. But Allison seems to take delight in whipping his reading audience into a lather about the more extreme elements of his stories. As this note explains (from 0008’s point of view):

‘As most of my millions of readers know, SADISTO agents keep in fighting trim, maintain their professional skills and relax themselves by shooting at live human targets – usually captured enemy agents, condemned voluptuous teen-age girl criminals we ‘borrow’ from death-row on the pretense of studying their psychological reactions, and other alleged enemies of the Free World.

But although the advantages as well as the fun of this system should be obvious, some readers don’t seem to approve of it. Many send me angry letters about it, in fact (as if I were to blame! I’m only a cog in the system – albeit a pretty important cog) – letters frequently accompanied by time bombs, rattlesnakes and deadly cave scorpions. Gifts I always rewrap and mark Return to Sender.

To stop this irksome flow of missives and missiles, let me restate my oft stated position: What’s wrong with using live human beings as targets?’

Having said all that, Allison does have a tendency to have an each way bet. One of the recurring plot devices is to have 0008 kill an enemy in a particularly nasty and bloody fashion, only to later have it revealed that the target wasn’t actually killed. So you get the nasty ‘sadistic’ prose, and then at the end, he takes it all away. No one was really hurt after all.

As the 0008 adventures are plainly parodies of sixties spymania, the stories are littered with Bond, Flint and UNCLE references. Even KAOS from Get Smart is given a name check. In this book one of the highlights is when 0008 explains his choice to drive a fire-engine red Mercedes rather than an Aston Martin.

"I thought all secret agents drove Aston Martins,” Cin had objected when we’d started our trip.

“Most do,” I agreed. “The Aston Martin people have a special group rate for intelligence organizations. The car has certain drawbacks, however. Like so many secret agents, enemy, friendly and the neutral drive them. You see an Aston Martin on the road, you know right off the driver is most likely a secret agent.”

“I see,” said Cin.

“So for this particular case,” I concluded, “I’m not taking my Aston Martin. Also it needs a valve job. Better we travel inconspicuously.” “You call a fire-engine red Mercedes 540-K inconspicuous?” increduled Cin.

And Derek Flint cops a serve - from page 53:

"Are you going to your quarters to do yoga exercises to prepare yourself for your coming hazardous duties?" she asked as she trotted behind me.

"Bah!" I said. "Perhaps esthetes like Flint engage in such questionably masculine pre-caper activities, but we triple-zero SADISTO agents are made of lustier stuff."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Most readers would be familiar with the famous Page 69 Test. The theory is that page 69 should be a good reflection on the contents of the book. Well, with a piece of Clyde Allison erotica, I guess the 69 Test takes on a new meaning. But with a fair amount of trepidation submit Mondo Sadisto to the test to see how it stacks up.

Sweat poured from my brow as I writhed and twisted beneath the diabolical provocation of her lips, and tongue, and breasts, and straying fingers.
It was wild.
It was wanton.
It was wonderful.
It was too much.
She stopped.
"Don't stop" I implored.

I guess, due to the novels erotic nature their are going to be pages with a measure of carnality. Page 69, to put it simply, is a page filled with foreplay -- and by page 70, well it's right into the action -- you get the idea. This passage doesn't really sum up the parody inherent in the novel, but the book is what it is -- a piece of erotica -- and I guess Page 69 reflects that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mondo Sadisto, like a few of the other Clyde Allison novels I have now sampled, is a little uneven, but there are passages which are brilliant parodies of a Bondian universe. I had a brief email conversation with Tanner from the Double-O Section, and he made a very astute observation that the stories are in many ways similar to Mark Gatiss' Lucifer Box trilogy. And he's right. Obviously Allison's stories are primarily soft core smut with passages of outrageous spy-type action and adventure, whereas Gatiss' stories are outrageous spy-type action and adventure with passages of smut. But they are similar.

Thanks to Flapjack 111, I am happy to present Mondo Sadisto. As the Clyde Allison 0008 Sadisto novels are out of print, rare, and extremely expensive, we thought it only right that we should share the adventures of one of the more perverse Bondian imitators.

To download Mondo Sadisto in JPG format, click here.

Book Covers: Part 9

For Your Sighs Only

Written by Clyde Allison
Real name: William Henley Knoles
Published by Ember Library EL 329
Cover illustration by Robert Bonfils
Published: May 1966

For Your Sighs Only is the ninth title published in the highly collectible Trevor Anderson – Agent 0008 Series.

WARNING: This review contains sexual and adult themes.

I guess because Ian Fleming's James Bond stories were serialised in Playboy magazine, Bond, as well as being a spy was labelled as being a confident ladies man, and in parodies this was stretched and he was often depicted as a randy skirt chaser. It is not so very surprising then, that adult books would latch on the Bond bandwagon. Many series of adult books featuring studly spies appeared in the mid to late sixties. Due to their adult content, they were pretty much over-looked by the main stream media and now have almost disappeared into the ether. However, one series that is still highly sought after are the Clyde Allison 0008 adventures.

The books are now collectors items, and when you can obtain them, they sell for exorbitant prices. One the things that makes them collectable is the incredible cover artwork by Robert Bonfils. The other aspect that makes them collectable is the writing by Clyde Allison -- which is a pseudonym for William Henley Knoles. The stories vary in quality. Some are witty and clever, others are simply repetitive; but generally they are fast paced and fun (in their weird perverted way!) Of the few stories I have read, For Your Sighs Only seems to have a slightly higher sexual content than some of the others in the series. But generally the sex scenes are quite tame by today's literary standards. There are loads of deliberately puerile descriptions of body parts -- breasts are routinely described as 'frontal fun flesh'.

For Your Sighs Only opens with a vigorous, nude ski chase on the Swiss Alps. Our hero is chasing down three enemies of the Free World - who are also skiing naked. During the chase 0008 tries to pick of his targets with a ski pole gun. One thing that struck me is about the ski pole gun is that James Bond uses the same thing at the start of the film The Spy Who Loved Me. The writer (of screenplay & novelisation) of the TSWLM was Christopher Wood - who prior to his gig as Bond wrote those British 'Confessions of...' books. If you're not familiar with them they were a series of soft core sex comedies from the sixties and seventies. So if he was a writer in the same genre as Clyde Allison it is quite possible that he had read the 0008 books and 'borrowed' the idea for Bond.

The ski chase continues, and 0008 picks off two of his targets, but manages to get tangled up with the third - so much so that they roll off the edge, down into a crevice. Their predicament doesn't end there and an avalanche of snow begins to fall on them...and, and, and 0008 freezes to death. Yep. He's dead! Well that's one way to start a book!

The story then, of course flashes back to the start of the mission. SADISTO -- who are the good guys -- like most intelligence agencies are short on funds to fiance their missions. But they now have an opportunity to acquire one billion dollars in gold. The gold is the long lost treasure of 'Darius the Great', ruler of ancient Persia. This treasure was recently found by a cave explorer called Lithica Stone. Lithica has now varnished, but prior to going missing, she passed the location to the treasure cave to two friends. Each of these friends was given one part of the location -- one was given the exact longitude -- the other was given the exact latitude. Unfortunately these two girls were kidnapped by the evil organisation KRUNCH (Kriminality, Revenge, Under-handed tricks, Nastiness, Cruelty and Hijacking). KRUNCH torture the girls and mange to extract the longitude from one of the girls. But before they can find out the latitude, SADISTO Agent 0002 comes to the rescue and kills all the KRUNCH operatives. 0002 learns the latitude from the surviving girl before she expires.

So SADISTO have the latitude co-ordinate to find the gold, but KRUNCH have the longitude. 0008's mission is simple -- he has to infiltrate KRUNCH and find out the Longitude co-ordinate. 0008 begins his mission at a KRUNCH summit meeting which is being held at a nudist colony in Switzerland. What could happen to a randy secret agent at a nudist colony?

As this is a story about 'Gold' it will come as no surprise that this book makes several references to 'Goldfinger' (the film -- rather than the book). The first occurs on page 45:

A Portly, fair haired man, who looked a bit like the actor Gert Frobe, rose to his portly feet.
"Heil Hit...I mean, Greetings, fellow conspirators," he wheezed.

Of course this is referring to the controversy that surrounded the film Goldfinger when it was discovered that actor, Frobe had been a member of the Nazi Party. From Wikipedia:

Born in Zwickau, Fröbe was a member of the Nazi Party before and during World War II. However, he aided German Jews by hiding them from the Gestapo. Because of his former membership in the Nazi Party, the film Goldfinger was initially banned in Israel until he was publicly thanked for his help by a Jewish family.

The next Goldfinger reference is a bit more blatant and it comes from a speech delivered by the head villainess, Miss Fu Chik Chu -- page 51:

"Thank you, fellow co-conspirators. It is true that I have devoted most of my life to the pursuit of gold. Next to my late, great, still remembered friend, Auric Goldfinger, no person in history has pursued gold so avidly, has loved gold so deeply. Thus, humbly, I feel I am the right person to recover the greatest gold hoard of all time. With your assent, I now assume complete charge of Operation Gold Trove."

Now, as I described the opening chapter ending with 0008 freezing to death, you're probably wondering how he gets out of that predicament. Obviously I do not want to spoil the story, and this is one of the better twists in the novel -- but 0008 wakes up in the future 2066.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Most readers would be familiar with the famous Page 69 Test. The theory is that page 69 should be a good reflection on the contents of the book. Well, with a piece of Clyde Allison erotica, I guess the 69 Test takes on a new meaning. But still I thought it was worth submitting For Your Sighs Only to the test to see how it stacks up. The page begins with our hero, 0008 in hospital after being revived from being buried frozen in the ice for the past century - so the following part of the story takes place in the future.

The nurse punched a button and the giant TV screen went silent and became a mirror again. "Well," she said brightly, "you're almost famous. Now, what can I do for you? Orange juice? Coffee? Tea? A cigarette?"
"A cigarette," I mused. "So they finally worked the bugs out of cigarettes, eh?"
"I'm afraid not," frowned the nurse. "They're still the chief cause of lung cancer and heart disease. But with the population what it is, who cares? Maybe you'd prefer an alcoholic drink, or a hallucinogenic mushroom pill, or sex, or..."
"Sex?" I leered.
She looked at me worriedly. "Why do you have that curious expression on your face? Almost as if - why, you're leering! How adorably old-fashioned! But then I keep forgetting how old you are. Sex was pretty secret and snide back in your century, wasn't it old timer. Now, of course, we take sex for granted." She sauntered nakedly over to me. "Want me to relieve your sexual tensions?" I nodded eagerly. And a tingling, rising sensation low in my body told me that my normal reactions hadn't been impaired by a century on ice...


For Your Sighs Only passes the Page 69 Test with flying colours. The above passage perfectly sums up what you can expect to find within it's pages.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The more I read and find out about Clyde Allison the more fascinated I become. Because they were mildly pornographic, these books appear to have been somewhat dismissed as 'throwaways' at the time -- but some of the ideas contained within have stood the test of time and may have been 'borrowed/recycled/stolen' for more legitimate spy fiction and films over the intervening years.

Thanks to Flapjack 111, I am happy to present For Your Sighs Only in it's entirety. As the Clyde Allison 0008 Sadisto novels are out of print, rare, and extremely expensive, we thought it only right that we should share the adventures of one of the more perverse Bondian imitators.
You can find links to download JPGs for For Your Sighs Only below. Enjoy.

To download part one, click here.
To download part two, click here.

Dead Men's Dust

Written by Matt Hilton
Published by Hodder & Stoughton 2009

The running man conspiracy continues! No, not really. I am not going to discuss the cover artwork for Matt Hilton's Dead Men's Dust. The running man has already had a good run (sorry about that) in the blogosphere. I thought it was time to actually delve inside, and I am pleased to report that Dead Men's Dust is a cracking good thriller.

The opening is a ball-tearer, with the character Joe Hunter, from the outset proving that he has the skill set to help the small people of the world. Because that is what Joe Hunter does – he helps people. To put an espionage twist to it, Hunter is a bit like Robert McCall in the Equalizer, or even Michael Westen in Burn Notice. He's a man who has been around the block – so to speak – and learnt a trick or two along the way. Now he has left that world behind and helps out people who aren't able to protect themselves from the bullies of the world. But Hunter's past is a bit vague. As he explains on page 59:

'I hadn't been a secret agent; it wasn't for me to use guile and trickery to root out the bad guys. I was the weapon sent in when all the planning was done with and all that was left was the arse-kicking. Arse-kicking I was good at. It got results.'

Joe Hunter's mission on this occasion, is a personal one. His estranged half-brother, John Tefler has gone missing in the U.S. of A. John has always been a bit of a try-hard schemer – only his schemes and his luck never seem to work out. Joe has to track down his brother, who has not only managed to attract the unwanted attention of the Syndicate, after he disappears with some counterfeit money printing plates, but also the attention of one of America's most brutal serial killers, Tubal Cain.

Dead Men's Dust is written in two styles, alternating chapter by chapter. The first style is first person and the story is viewed from Joe Hunter's point of view. This is effective to a point, but towards the middle of the book it is a bit frustrating because of the other events happening in the book - but let me explain. The other style, every second chapter is written in third person and recounts the gruesome exploits of Tubal Cain. As we move through the story, Tubal Cain moves ahead of Joe Hunter in the story arc, and as such in the middle there is a small portion where Hunter is really playing catch up and planning his next move - while we readers are far ahead of him. Thankfully Hilton keeps these chapters relatively brief. The frustrating thing here is that Hunter is such an enjoyable character, especially when he is 'let loose' that we are left wanting and waiting. But we don't have to wait for too long and the tense, atmospheric ending is well worth it.

Overall, I'd say that Dead Men's Dust is a bloody good read. It does what it aims to do – and that is provide a rollercoaster ride riddled with bullets and broken bones, and it is packaged with a slick sense of style and pace. The publisher, Hodder & Stoughton, certainly did the right thing by Hilton down in Australia. Especially on a 'street level' where bright yellow and magenta Joe Hunter posters covered every wall and building site hording. In store it was backed up with a 'publishers promise' - enjoy the book or your money back. Well, they're are pretty safe. I enjoyed Dead Men's Dust from the knee splintering opening to the gruesome knife wielding last pages, and I am eagerly looking forward to the follow up Judgment and Wrath which is due out later this year.

Just a brief warning – this story does feature a serial killer - a serial killer whose prefered weapon is a scaling knife – so if you're a little bit queasy then this may not be the book for you.

From the back:
'Some may call me a vigilante. I think I've just got problems to fix.'

Right now, Joe Hunter's big problem is a missing little brother, last seen fleeing the site of a gruesome killing. Hunter needs the help of an old army buddy, a whole lot of hardware and a trip to Little Rock, Arkansas, to fix this particular problem.

A brutal encounter with some very nasty criminals leaves Hunter fighting for his life. And that’s before he comes up against America’s most feared serial killer, 'The Harvestman', and his grisly souvenirs of death.

But blood is thicker than water. And a lot of blood will be spilt . . .

DEAD MEN'S DUST introduces Joe Hunter, an all action hero with a strong moral code. Like the gunslingers of the Wild West, Hunter is not afraid to use his weapons and his fists – but only to save the victims from the bad guys.

To visit Matt Hilton's website, click here.
Or to visit his blog, click here.

Skeleton Key

By Anthony Horowitz
Published by Walker Books 2002

I know I am doing this out of order, and one day I will go back and do reviews of Stormbreaker and Point Blanc. Skeleton Key is the third in the series of teenage spy, Alex Rider books written by Anthony Horowitz. The first thing you should know about Horowitz's books is that they are first rate. I don't know why, but currently I believe 'Young Adult' fiction is more imaginative and better written than a lot of the so-called adult fiction that is out there. If you are concerned that reading a 'Young Adult' book would be a diluted reading experience, let me assure you that Horowitz books have a healthy dose of bone crunching violence, death, mayhem and destruction. The only aspect that is toned down is the heroes sexual relationships. Obviously they are in tune with what you'd expect from a fourteen year old boy.

The hero of this book is Alex Rider and he has quite a back story. Before I go any further, as I mentioned at the outset, this is the third book in the Alex Rider series and although you could read this book as a stand alone piece, it is a series that is best read in order. There are numerous illusions to Alex's past missions and characters he has dealt with.
But to bring you up to speed, Alex is a fourteen year old boy who lives in London. His parents died when he was young and he was brought up by his uncle, Ian Rider. Alex believed the his uncle worked for a bank, when in fact he was a M.I.6 operative. Little did Alex realise that all the leisure, sporting and holiday activities that his uncle exposed him to, where giving him a set of skills that could and would prepare him for a life as a secret agent. When Ian Rider is killed (in Stormbreaker), Alex is reluctantly recruited by M.I.6 to finish his uncle's mission.

This novel starts on a small Cuban island called Cayo Esqueleto, or Skeleton Key if you prefer, and two couriers are delivering a shipment of weapons grade uranium to a rogue Russian General named Sarov. The couriers foolishly try to alter the bargain, requesting more money. Sarov deals with them with a rather harsh way - the couriers end up being a meal for some hungry crocodiles.

Meanwhile, back in London, schoolboy Alex Rider, after a chance meeting with an M.I.6 controller named Crawley, is at Wimbledon. Not watching the tennis as he would have liked, but as a ball boy. Apparently there have been mysterious goings on at the All England Tennis Club, and Crawley wanted Alex to have a snoop around. And snoop he does. Soon he has uncovered a plot by a Triad syndicate to alter the results of the matches (by secretly drugging some of the players). Alex foils the Triads plans - forcing them to lose a vast amount of money in bets.

After Wimbledon, Alex then spends some time in Cornwall surfing. One morning a Triad member attempts to kill Alex by running over him with a jet ski. Alex survives the attempt and is soon called into M.I.6 headquarters. It seems that Alex is now on a Triad hitlist. More attempts on his life will be made. The Triad will keep coming until they have killed him. But there is something that can be done about it. M.I.6 are not entirely without influence and through discreet channels, they can eventually call off the hit on Alex. But all this takes time. Over the following days Alex will still be in great danger. It is decided that he should go into hiding. And conveniently enough, M.I.6 have just brokered a deal with the C.I.A. They require a young boy for one of their operations and M.I.6 have kindly donated Alex's services.

Alex is not happy. He does not consider himself a spy - and certainly does see himself as an asset that M.I.6 can just 'loan' out whenever they want. Despite this, Alex finds himself on his way to Miami to participate in a C.I.A operation.

In Miami, Alex is given his mission briefing. He is to play the part of the son to two American agents, Belinda Troy and Tom Turner. The two Americans aren't thrilled at the prospect at having to chaperone a child as a part of their cover - but it is the only way they can get into Cuba and onto the island of Cayo Esqueleto without raising suspicion. Once the three operatives have arrived safely on Skeleton Key, it is deemed that Alex should just stay out of the way and leave the spying to the two professional adults - but of course, things don't quite work out that way!

I love the Alex Rider books. It has to be admitted that they wouldn't exist if there was a Bondian universe to parody. Alex goes through all the usual Bondian setpieces before heading off on his mission, including a session with the gadget master, Smithers, who equips Alex with all manner of small gadgets that come in handy over the course of the mission. But Horowitz uses the Bond framework to write great adventures for his hero Alex Rider, twisting it to suit the demographic he is writing for. For example, Bond could never really do Wimbledon - and certainly couldn't be a ball boy! So Horowitz utilises the universe he has created for Alex to the full.

If you've never read an Alex Rider book because you believe they are kids stuff, then let me reassure you that Horowitz does not write down to his audience. A few months back I read the Man From UNCLE book 'The Affair of the Gunrunners Gold'. It too is a children's book, and when I read it, I certainly got the feeling that I was reading a kids book. The wording and phrasing was simple, and the plot was as thin as tissue paper. Horowitz doesn't take this approach. He treats his readers as 'adults' and as such the stories read incredibly well whatever age you are. I am really looking forward to revisiting some more of Alex's adventures.

Book Covers: Part 8

Free Agent

Written by Jeremy Duns

Published by Simon & Schuster 2009

Free Agent is the first in Jeremy Duns' planned trilogy of novels featuring Paul Dark. Free Agent is to be followed be Free Country and then Free World. And I must say this novel gets the series off to a flying start. The first jolt comes within the opening pages after you've been lulled into a false sense of security. It's the obligatory briefing scene, where the secret agent receives his mission instructions from his superior. Often in this type of scene in other spy books, you get the crusty old handler tossing off a few barbs at his petulant underling - but you know deep down there is almost a father and son relationship going on. Well, Free Agent continues that time honoured tradition but then turns it on its head when Dark pulls a Luger pistol and shoots his chief right between the eyes.Whoa! Where do you go from here!

The story then flashes back to the aftermath of the Second World War, and Dark is involved in an operation to track down Nazi war criminals. It is here, where the seeds of Dark's traitorous actions are sown, and slowly a picture of the man starts to emerge. Is Dark a villain? Well that's hard to answer. He has just shot his chief, so the short answer is yes. But as you read the book, Dark never really seems like a villain. You ride along with the character, through his numerous scrapes - from out of the frying pan and into the fire, as it were, but you still keep hoping he'll muddle his way through. Duns has walked a fine literary tightrope, creating a character who it would have been easy to despise - and as such create little sympathy or interest from the reader. The fact that Duns has been able to create a universe where the reader actually follows with interest - and dare I say it - cheers for the villain is quite an impressive feat.

As the story progresses to Nigeria, Duns also proves adept at painting an atmospheric picture. The heat, mosquitoes and the sweat are almost palpable - from the time Dark hits the tarmac in Lagos, through being captured by drug addled Biafran soldiers, till he finally reaches his finally destination this is one hot sweaty book.

Without giving away too much of the plot, and spoiling the story, some of my favourite passages are a gun battle and car chase through the streets of Lagos – yeah, I am a sucker for a good action sequence – and the passage where, well actually it's the last one hundred pages of the book. Up until this point the book has been good, but here it lifts up a notch. From the point where Dark catches a plane flight to Udi, until the last pages of the book where the last few final twists are revealed, I dare anyone to put down this book while reading.

Jeremy Duns is no stranger to the world of spy fiction. You can read his articles about past masters of the spy genre in The Sunday Times or listen to his opinion on Len Deighton on BBC4 radio. The problem with this - and I can be guilty of this too - is that it is easy to suggest that Duns' writing (or certain passages) mimics those of the masters of the spy genre. I have already read comparisons of Duns to LeCarre and Deighton - and while I am sure Duns would be very pleased to see his name grouped in such exclusive company, I think it undermines his achievement as a writer. This is not a 'cut and paste' book. Sure, people who have read a great many spy books will be able to spot certain references - maybe even homages - to the past, but Free Agent is a cohesive piece of story telling that stands on its own.

Another side effect of Duns' knowledge and reputation in the field of spy-lit, is that many people seem to expect that Free Agent is a 'hard-core' novel of espionage. It is not - it is a rattling good thriller that just happens to be set in the world of espionage. Is there a difference? Yes there is. Hard core spy novels attempt to demystify the world of espionage. They strip away the gloss and show spying as a dirty business. Whereas in a thriller, a series of events happen that build upon each other - they build and build until they reach (hopefully) a shattering climax. The reader gets breathlessly propelled through the story. Free Agent belongs to that latter tradition. In Free Agent you will not find any long-winded passages detailing 'tradecraft', and due to the book being set in the sixties, you will not find any tiresome techno-babble about weapons and machinery. This is a story that drags you along at breakneck pace.

It's that last point that I believe is the most salient. As a reviewer, I am a guy who writes about spy films and books, and so, of course I am going to love Duns' book. But because I believe that Free Agent is a good thriller, rather than an espionage book, I would suggest that this book has broad appeal and can be picked up and enjoyed by everyone - you don't have to be a spy geek like me to enjoy this book. When I interviewed Duns last months, he remarked:

'I write for as broad an audience as I can. I want people who don’t usually read thrillers to read my work, and hope that pretty much anyone over the age of fourteen or so could enjoy Free Agent.'

When I interviewed Jeremy, I hadn't read his book, and his comment was sort of lost on me. As an author, of course you want everyone to read your book, and would say something to that effect. But in fact, he has delivered what he said - a thriller for people who don't usually read thrillers. I would say that he has succeeded admirably.

Free Agent is released in the United States this week.

To read my interview with Free Agent author, Jeremy Duns, click here.

To order Free Agent from Amazon, click here.

Jeremy's website is: http://jeremyduns.com/
Or join his Facebook group

The Headline Book of Spy Fiction

Edited by Alan Williams
Published by Headline Book Publishing 1992

Last week I took a brief look at Eric Ambler's To Catch a Spy, which was an anthology of short spy stories. If you recall, I mentioned that Ambler closed out his introduction with the following:

'There are surprisingly few good short spy stories. If I could have my unfettered way, a spy anthology would include The Riddle of the Sands, The Thirty-Nine Steps, all of Ashenden, all of The Three Couriers, plus Graham Green's The Ministry of Fear, plus Ian Fleming's From Russia With Love, plus... but it is getting to be a rather heavy book. Better not wait for it. Please begin now with the hors d'oeuvres.'

Here we are looking at another compilation - The Headline Book of Spy Fiction. Rather than short stories, Alan Williams has wisely chosen to take short extracts from spy fiction. This means he can group together like-minded passages to create a feel for a particular espionage trope. But before I go any further, I though it was worth posting his 'author's note'.

'Faced with the exhilarating task of making my choice for this Book of Spy Fiction, and given a totally free hand – unburdened by the exigencies of expense and space – I would have started with John Buchan's Greenmantle – page one right through to the end; all of Somerset Maugham's Ashenden stories; the whole of Ian Fleming's first and greatest of the Bond books, Casino Royale; great chunks of Ambler's Mask of Dimitrios; most of Graham Greene's Our Man in Havana; the entire text of The Spy Who Came in From the Cold... and... and... But it would have been a very long and expensive book – or series of books...
Better keep to a few select hors d'oeuvres.'

I am sure I do not need to point out the similarities in Ambler's introductions and William's note. Is it plagiarism? No, I don't think so. They are both drinking from the same well - that is looking at spy stories from the past, and being asked to select their favourites. But there the similarity ends. Ambler is limited by the small pool of short stories he can draw from, whereas, Williams is able to chop and change to suit each sections theme.

The book is broken up into eleven sections: Some Introductions to the Trade / Hiccups and Disadvantages of the Trade / More Serious Tradecraft / Hard Grafting in the Trade / A Touch of Patriotic Zeal /...And Some Scoundrels / Pitfalls, Horrors and General Nastiness / Tricks and Gadgets of the Trade / Car Chases, Then and Now / Some Vintages of the Genre /Premature Demises of Kim Philby. As I have suggested, each section takes appropriately themed excerpts from spy-lit favourites and groups them together.

Some of the authors included are: Graham Greene, John Buchan, Ian Fleming, 'Sapper', John LeCarré, Gerald Seymour, Len Deighton, Eric Ambler, Desmond Bagley, Joseph Conrad, Erskine Childers. As you can see, they are the giants of espionage fiction.

Excerpts are taken from: Bulldog Drummond, Casino Royale, Billion Dollar Brain, The Honorable Schoolboy, The Ministry of Fear, Rogue Male, Our Man In Havana, Harry's Game, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Funeral In Berlin, and a whole swag more.

Not that you should judge a book by its cover, but it is truly a pity that this anthology should have such an ugly cover. It reflects nothing of what is inside, which is a thoughtfully selected and edited collection of spy stories (or passages) that when combined paint a very colourful picture of spy fiction. I recommend this book very highly. It's the type of book that you could and should take on holiday. Of course you're also going to pick up the latest bit of airport fiction (or grab that novel off the pile that you have been promising yourself that you'd read for months). But there's no room in your suitcase for all your Fleming, LeCarré, Deighton, Buchan, Somerset Maugham, and all the others. This book is the perfect solution. It contains bite sized morsels of all your favourites. Tuck this into the suitcase, and when that latest bestseller that everyone is talking about turns out to be a turkey you can be safe in the knowledge that you have reliable 'backup'.

I enjoyed this book quite a bit more than Eric Ambler's anthology, To Catch a Spy, quite simply because Williams hasn't boxed himself into a corner by having to chose only 'short stories'. The excerpt technique works well, and makes fascinating reading when juxtaposed against stories of a similar theme (but maybe not style). Highly recommended.